What just happened…

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the past few days. It’s been odd for me to be in this position where I’ve been gone for so long that everything around me has changed. But what the hell could I expect? I was gone from the inner core area and geeze, from everywhere but Alderaan and Alpheridies in general for over a year. 

I spent months chasing the Syndicate. WE spent months chasing them, alliances forged others broken. We brought down Scylla with the help of Vaulk and his red meat wall of a brother Lord Fang. Even then I find it odd that Vaulk and I have gotten somewhat… close over the past few months. He’s given me a lot of valuable information and I’m not going to turn that kind of stuff away- besides he’s not bad for a Pureblood and the company could certainly be worse. At least he treats me with the same respect he’d treat others when it comes to business and I’m willing to work with him for the sake of important information. I suppose Scyllas idiotic death helped us in some regard. Lyrae’as off happy with Alistere now and that means she’s out of my damn hair. 

But when I came back… it feels like the entire universe has changed in small but noticeable ways.

I remember Nia the last time I saw her. We were at that god forsaken place on Shaddaa. That shit hole of a bar that everyone seemed to like. I can’t even remember what it was but I got unreasonably mad at her and walked away. I don’t even remember what it was about but that had been the last time I’d seen her. But I do remember she used to be so blatantly outgoing and very much willing to get in someones face. She didn’t back down from anything and nothing and I mean nothing could rattle that woman. She used to date Sith. You kind of have to have some serious balls to date Sith. Serious balls or be a glutton for punishment.  

But last night was another story all together. I mean yeah sure she’s engaged to that scrawny and sour and extremely temperamental Chiss, but he’s definitely no Sith Lord. Anyways, I guess I scared the force right out of her cause when I hugged her as I said hello, she got all Sullustan Fainting Goat on me and went all stiff and her aura did this little wibbly wobbly thing and then her eyes glazed over like the lights were on but Nia wasn’t home sort of expression. Her fiance went all puff up puff up rawr and I was thoroughly confused as to what the hell happened. She started stammering and stuttering like Arten had been stuck on the washer during the agitate cycle… and next thing I know she’s hyperventilating and at that point i just bailed. Steve said something about Nia having a hard time and I believed it but I had no idea what to say. All I could do was apologize and feel like a complete dumbass and totally out of the loop. I ended up slinking my stupid ass back to my ship and spending the night there with my cat Noodle.

It really kind of hit me just how little I know these people and just how much of a stranger I truly am. These people aren’t who I remember… I don’t know them. At all.  I mean a year ago… I don’t remember Ihlrath having claws and doing things he could do now. I remember Alasha being brutal and cold and well wanting to kill everyone and I just wanted to wrap my hands around her neck and shake it like a maraca. Now I consider her a friend.

Speaking of, Alasha had some bad reaction to Kal-dur. I’m guessing it was some sort of touch based memory- uh, what do they call it. Psy.something. I brought Raiyden aboard to meet the others and Alasha in particular since she’s an Arbiter and something happened. Either way, Kal-dur ended up a projectile and Alasha ended up feeling horrible about it. Raiy helped Jallira (Who’s adorable and sweet.) with Kal while I stayed with Ani and Alasha to help calm her down. 

Raiyden liked everyone even though chaos broke loose. He was impressed with how polite and welcoming they were and I think he was willing to hear more about the Marran. I’ll probably bring him back to talk with the others some other time after Kal has had some time to recover. He was pretty messed up. Raiy said he broke his back and I cringe at the memory of him hitting the wall like that. I’ll go by and see how he’s doing later. I actually like the guy, he’s got a sense of humor.

It’s late though and I should walk Noodle before heading to bed. Maybe I’ll head to the med-center before I go to bed and check on Jallira and Kal. 

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Looking back moving forward.

It’s been too long since I last picked up this journal. Even longer since I’ve bothered to look at it or even write. It just stopped being important for so long. Too much has really happened for me to put it in on entry. Raiyden and Xaishen getting married and having kids. Yeah they actually had kids, Lyrae’a and I are aunts.  Raiys a council member on Alpheridies now and he spends his time between family and his duties.  Arten and Ayliah are getting married and having a kid themselves.

The crew is all but broken up and I think it’s okay. Xaishen and Raiyden have so much to do with a family. Lyrae’a and Alistere are doing whatever they do and of course Kheni, Neirov and everyone else have always kind of done their own thing. Tom went off with his Padawan though I think he was knighted by now. Tinocht and Sidhe found Tino’s mom and is living with her on Coruscant.

I can’t do the domestic thing, so I did the only thing I thought was best for me. I headed off Alpheridies and looked for something to do.  I ended up back in the Core and finding the Marran. It wasn’t on purpose really but I remember Nia saying she worked with them. Last I’d seen them was as my backside was retreating from Voss. I asked if they needed any extra hands and was told sure they’re in the middle of some stuff.

So… I signed on.

It’s been a couple of weeks now and I’ve helped here and there. I’m still getting to know people and it’s been a bit of a daunting task trying to understand people and work as a team.  It’s been even harder trying to fit in with a group and understand the dynamics of the crew. I’m used to a small five to eight man crew who know each other well enough that they can work as a team and draw upon one another without long discussion or chaos or something else to distract.

Things are… adjusting. It’s weird working without my brother. I’m having to adjust to the fact that I don’t have his bond to rely upon when I am in combat. It’s particularly difficult with droids- I can’t see them and Raiyden has always been able to through the force.  I admit, it was hard faking my way through a mission with the Archon and Arbiter Alasha.  The droids were the worst but I followed the Archon and did what I could to help out. I’m not sure what we were doing but I just did as I was told. I’m not used to doing missions following others orders.  I can do it though, I’ve done it before.

How to describe everybody would take too long. Everyone has been fairly welcoming and while it’s odd to work along side mandalorians- usually they’re trying to kill me- I find that most of them are fairly easy going, even if a little too serious. I’ve met my first Chiss and my first Anzat.  Their cultures and species are very fascinating and I want to learn more.

Nia’s getting married to one of the Chiss I met. He seems very temperamental, easily angered and very easily offended.  Which is weird cause Nia is none of those. Well except the temperamental.  But he has been polite and civil enough to me and he even spoke with my brother the few times I brought him up to the Marran ship. He likes to be called Steve but his name is Izi something something… too long to remember or pronounce. I kind of have the impression that Chiss names require the removal of ones tongue to properly pronounce.

Speaking of Nia she seems …different. I can’t quite put my finger on it but she seems older. She even let me hug her and that just seemed really odd to me. I’ve never hugged her before and while she stiffened up and acted like she wanted to throw me off of her, she let me hug her. Twice. It was just so surreal.  I hope she’s okay and I hope that whatever it might be is just my imagination or the long time I haven’t seen her. It’s been over a year.

Anyways, I should head to bed. I get to spend hours going through old Marran history  sometime tomorrow to find out what I missed and just how this team works. The more I know the better prepared I’ll be to work with the various people and to act accordingly. As it is, the Archon himself took me under his tutelage to ensure that I follow the laws of the group and make sure that I’m not going to muck things up.  I admit, he intimidates me- which is no mean feat, but he seems amicable enough and I really like Alasha. She’s been very helpful in making me feel welcome and to fit in.