With the power of conviction, there is no sacrifice.

<The Estherian Estate, Alpheridies.>

This bloody road remains a mystery. 
This sudden darkness fills the air. 
What are we waiting for ? 
Won’t anybody help us ? 
What are we waiting for ? 
We can’t afford to be innocent 
Stand up and face the enemy. 
It’s a do or die situation – we will be invincible.

Caer sat with her back against the wall, Toms arm draped around her shoulder grinning as they watched everyone interact in the same room. Neirov and Dyme chuckling and teasing one another, Xaishen and Raiyden chatting quietly over a couple of books.  Ayliah chatting animatedly with Arten about something Miraluka related and Arten listening avidly as the younger Seeker in training gestured about something or another.  Kheniath, Remi and Lato were nowhere to be seen; Caer assuming that each of them had found their own pursuits of leisure.

Idyllic. So idyllic that Caer had a moment of gut clenching panic that it wasn’t real and that this was some trick of Anubis to lull her into a false sense of security. She looked around slowly as if expecting the shadows to begin writhing and twisting, revealing the face behind the painted mask.

Raiyden looked up at her with concern and she gave a soft shake of her head as he sent a brush of query to her mind, the twins concern coloring his voice in her mind. She assured him she was fine, that she just had a moment and that was all. She somewhat pointedly ignored Toms question murmured in her ear, giving him a soft “I’m fine” before breaking into a strained grin as Dyme and Neirov mock battled in their new living quarters.


Caer was content to take it for as long as it lasted.  The chance to breathe without worrying if someone was hurting or suffering was a weight off her chest and it felt strange to feel the freedom she did. Strange but not unwelcome in the slightest.  Her brother was healing and recovering with the aid of their little family both related and not related and she was proud of how well he stood up to the weaknesses he felt. She knew that Raiyden loathed any weakness in himself, never minding the weaknesses in others.

Her shoulders relaxed as Tom gently massaged her upper arm, sometimes making comment to the silliness that was happening around them. Raiyden and Xaishen throwing wads of paper at the various people hanging out in what was called the living room. A nice large room with several couches, chairs and a fireplace that was against one wall. Regular lighting had been put in for those with eyes and Caer was happy to see people taking advantage of the room. Fresh cut flowers gave the room a nice sweet smell that wasn’t over powering. Large rugs adorned the floor making the room seem cozy and well lived in without looking messy.  Pillows were strewn about on the various couches and blankets lay folded along the arms and backs of the couches for anyone who felt chilled.

She heard the small chime of the holo-mail on her datapad and frowned a little. The only people who had any reason now days to even contact her were all in the room or in the house.  Pushing away from Tomuraan she excused herself and said she wold be right back. Most did not take notice and so she slipped out of the room unquestioned.

Tugging the device from her pocket, she switched it to the receive message and arched her brows in surprise at the untagged holo. It was highly unusual for her to receive something and she half wondered for a moment if it was from her sister Lyrae’a or maybe a council summons for a mission.

It was neither.

“Hey… Theres no easy way to say this. If you’re getting this message I’m either dead… Or worse. I’m hoping if you’re reading this I’m dead. Forgive me if I’m sending this to all four of you with the same holo. This is hard enough to make as it is. Making it four times would be.”

Caer listened to the message the contentment she felt just a few scant moments ago ebbing from her body like heat leaving the body in the middle of a blizzard. Her stomach clenched and she bit down on her tongue to keep from swearing out loud.  The lump in her throat rose up along with the hint of bile as she forced herself to breathe again. She hadn’t even realized she’d been holding her breath.

“I’ve some details that will need taking care of. I’ll be sending each of you a packet of information. Its not much, and I ask that you please take care of it. I’ll love and miss you all. Great Skipper guide your trails to great fortune. Oakfell out.”

The beep of an attached text message almost didn’t register as she pressed a hand against the wall her arms shaking as she tried to absorb what she’d just heard.  She quickly read the text that had been sent to her and only her and she felt the lump rise in her throat again.

Sure her and Oakfell had never really gotten along. Both had been horribly pig headed and stubborn and looking back now she realized that he could have been a great ally if she had just moved past his stubborn nature.

But Caer remembered a night in particular. It stood out stark in her mind to the point that she could almost smell the bar on Nar Shaddaa and the smell of questionably washed bodies around her.  She could almost hear the voices around her of various conversations.  She recalled the conversation between her and Hud, recalling he’d reached out to her for help and in those days… those days where she wasn’t bitter, full of suspicion and dare she say it, hate, that she’d taken him back to her ship to recover from his latest round of alcohol induced rage and self pity. He’d trusted her and she had trusted him to be alone with her.

He had trusted her.

Caer exhaled and padded quietly towards the exit and jogged towards where the ships were all landed on the private property. The Miraluka at the door didn’t question her as she went inside, and boarded her ship. She made her way up the stairs, waving off the droids greeting and heading to her sleeping quarters. Opening up the cupboard, she dug through the back of it until her fingers brushed against a box. Pushing aside the other boxes that held various trinkets from her travels she pulled the box to her and held it in both hands.

It was such a small box, not really any bigger than her hand. It was a soft silver color and held no markings or anything to indicate what was inside. Using her left hand she gently- mindful that she still had trouble with the cybernetic- pried the box lid open and stared at it’s contents.

There was only one thing inside of the box really and he had given to her all those nights ago. Before Voss, before Tomuraan, before anything that had led up to the current events.

The little control box was a simple thing and the only reason she saw it at all was because she had imprinted her force presence on it so she could see it.

“If I ever … y’know… if ever somethin’ goes really wrong… i want ya to push that. You hear me? It’s th’only way to stop me.” His slightly drunken slurring echoed in her mind. “I’m trusting you.”

Caer clenched the box in her hand and bowed her head, her jaw clenching with the sorrow that clawed up her throat. She shook her head and growled at her own ridiculous behavior.  He might not even be dead, she reasoned with herself. He might just be in a boat load of trouble and that would mean that she would need to do the right thing.

Shoving the controller back into the box she stuck it back into the cupboard and shut the door.

Hudgaar would need help.

Turning back, she headed out and walked back towards the house where the other were waiting. She’d just have to find a way to convince the others that it was necessary to save a man who she had once acted so childishly towards.

So soon, too soon. Caer prayed to the gods that they would understand.


Won’t anybody help us ? 
What are we running for when there’s nowhere 

Nowhere we can run to anymore ? 
We can’t afford to be innocent 
Stand up and face the enemy. 
It’s a do or die situation – we will be invincible. 
And with the power of conviction there is no sacrifice. 
It’s a do or die situation – we will be invincible. 


Heart of stone.

<The Estherian Estate>

The Estherian Estates were quiet, most having retired for the evening save for a few servants and medical staff that were of the night shift. Most were just a skeleton crew there to keep the house running an to assist any elderly or sick that might need attended to during the evening. Those such as Caers group or a couple of the elderly who needed around the clock attention for various ailments that came with growing old.

Most of her crew was asleep, Raiyden always the first to succumb to his injuries with Arten and Tomuraan coming up in a close second and third for exhaustion. Caer was tired, she felt consistently tired but it seemed like no matter how hard she tried lately, there wasn’t any such thing as sleep.  There was too much to think about and the fact that every time she slept it didn’t help that the highlights from the fight kept playing over and over in her mind. Each dream or nightmare depending on how the gods were feeling that night would determine just what her mind would produce.

She wore clothing of Miraluka make, home made- or rather made by whoever was responsible for tailoring on the Estate. Caer wasn’t sure how all this worked. Her father had explained that their estate was self sufficient and often times offered various things for those outside the estate to use and buy. It had fit her comfortably, like an old outfit that was made just for her, the cloth comforting against her skin and she had a suspicion that perhaps Tom or even her mother had taken her measurements and had the clothes made as she and her crew recovered.

Caer walked along the well tended paths of the family flower garden, the flowers so unrecognizable to anyone to a normally sited person, but to a Miraluka they were truly beautiful. She didn’t think anything that came from her world could really be beautiful but there it was. She stopped at a clump of rather aromatic flowers that seemed to glow almost on their own in the planets darkness.  Night sounds of bugs could be heard among the flowers and she couldn’t help but smile a bit to herself as she listened to the gentle sounds.

It wasn’t often she found herself alone and less often that she found herself truly appreciating the things that were around her. Some part of her wondered if she was selfish or if she had some inability to genuinely see the fabled silver lining.

“Your mother planted those shortly after you and Raiyden were born.” The rich deep voice of Lynnas came from a nearby open doorway.

Caer jerked up and realized that it was the doorway to her fathers study. She straightened a bit and smoothed her hair to try and cover for her startlement. Caer shrugged and watched as her father came down the small stairs and onto the graveled walkway. “I couldn’t sleep. Is it okay to be out here?”

Lynnas gave her a strange expression and nodded slowly. “Of course. This is your home, you have no need to ever ask permission to go anywhere. You or your brother.”

Caer frowned and just kind of ducked her head, her face turned to the flowers she had just been caught sniffing. “It’s something that’s difficult to get accustomed to.”

Lynnas chuckled and approached. “Don’t look like you just got in trouble. Please, Caer, we just want you to feel welcome and to relax, is that so hard to believe?”

The womans expression flattened slightly, and she shifted her weight uncomfortably as she noted her fathers gaze was on her. She could sense through the force that he was slightly apprehensive himself and was grasping at straws. She licked suddenly dry lips and brought her shoulders up in a slow shrug. “I… just have a hard time father. That’s all. All our lives we went not knowing who you guys were. No idea if you were alive or dead or even if you cared about us. We weren’t allowed to even consider it because it was considered an attachment and a distraction. By the time we were old enough to really understand what we could have and were supposed to have, I at least had moved on from feeling anything one way or another about it.”

The dark skinned man flinched a bit and then nodded, when he spoke his voice was soft and full of regret. “I think we made a huge mistake Caer. We thought sending you to the Jedi order would broaden some horizons that most people around here would not normally get to experience. It was a mistake on my part to encourage the Order to take you both and we see that now. But you can agree that what you learned has helped you in many ways, yes?”

Caer took a deep breath and held it as she observed her father. She seemed stunned by his statement and admission that they’d made the mistake that they did and she found the anger that had been festering inside of her melting away. She suddenly felt hollow and drained. “I… yes. We have learned a lot, I suppose, father. I’m just so angry that you felt like it was okay to dictate what we wanted. I’d have been happy here my entire life.”

“What about your friends? What about Tom?” Lynnas stepped up to her side and gestured to the house where the group stayed. “If you’d been here, you would have never met them.”

The young Miraluka woman was silent for a moment, her expression unreadable. Lynnas watched her as she struggled with the inner emotions he could sense and waited patiently for her to come to her own conclusions and decisions. He hadn’t spent most of his life thinking that impatience would make people move faster. If anything, he noticed people tended to balk more when met with impatience. He sat down on a nearby bench, patting the empty spot next to him. “Come sit with me, daughter.”

Caer sat down and folded her hands in her lap, the cybernetic one resting on her leg, her real hand resting on top of it as if she could hide it. Not that it mattered, it looked just as real as her right one. The only difference being that she knew it wasn’t. Lynnas smiled and took her right hand and held it in his. She stiffened and forced herself to relax. “Caer, I know you think we did a bad thing. Maybe we did, but you shouldn’t regret what you didn’t have. You’re with us now and it’s something I look forward to. Your crew as you call them have been your family so far and you should cherish that. If we had not sent you away, you would never have met Neirov or Tomuraan. You would not have such an inquisitively intriguing padawan. Raiyden would not have such good friends like Xaishen.”

“I know you’re right but some part of me misses and hates the fact that I never got to know my parents. Have no idea what it’s like to get tucked in at night and told we’re loved.  Waking up for school and being told to hurry by a mom who made us breakfast.  It sounds stupid and immature, but there it is. There’s no such thing as love or fondness at the order. Just brisk and level headed care for one another that does not extend beyond the type of professionalism you’d find at a morgue and working with corpses. Except we’re all friggen living corpses sent off to be tossed to the first Sith. ” Her tone had taken on a bitter sound and she felt some satisfaction at seeing Lynnas flinch and purse his lips at her comment. “I learned a lot there, don’t get me wrong. I learned how to fight and how to survive. But I don’t think the Jedi Order has the capability of teaching anybody how to live.”

Lynnas heaved a great sigh as if he’d been accused of something terrible. His voice was soft and sad sounding as he fumbled for words to fix this mess. “Caer. We love you and your brother. So very very much and it hurts me to see you hurting like this. Leave the order permanently, come here. Train as a Seeker with Sharise, take her place and live like you were meant to. You don’t have to forgive your mother and I, but at least accept our love and willingness to put right.”

Caer sighed and got to her feet, nodding. “All I can say is I’ll try father. I’m here and that says something. As Raiyden. I have a hard time with this stuff. But just know I’m here and all I can do is try to figure out how to love people I should have known my whole life.”

The Miraluka woman turned and headed down the path towards the rooms where her husband slept.  Lynnas watched her through the force and pressed a hand against his chest over his heart, looking a little wistful and sad. “Good enough for me, daughter mine. Good enough for now.”

I know you by heart.

Estherian Estates-  Estherian personal medical facilities.


Voices permeated her thoughts before anything else. Then pain and more voices.

Then finally silence.

The void of emptiness that had invaded her soul for the past weeks was suddenly full again, though the feeling of it was brackish and chilled despite it being a familiar presence inside her very soul. Raiyden was here back with her and she could sense his mind and soul ravaged by the time he’d spent in the hands of the one called Anubis.

Raiyden was so tired, so literally drained that it hurt her physically to sense how much he ached and how much of a shadow of himself he used to be. She didn’t have to touch him to realize just how close he’d come to dying; it was all there inside his mind and in the bond they shared.  He had become brittle and fragile to touch and even her body trembled in fear of losing him if she even breathed on him.

The heat of battle had worn off of her long ago and now she was left a shivering mass of nerves; a feeling of emptiness inside of her, her heart aching at the sight of her beloved brother hurting more than her.  This wasn’t how things were supposed to work; Raiyden was never meant to hurt. Her job had always been to protect him, keep him safe and in a shelter of protection that would keep him from ending up the way he did.

She couldn’t even bring herself to be mad at him anymore. She didn’t have it in her to even be angry at the thought of him running off with Xaishen to hunt down Lyrae’a their sister it wasn’t any of their fault that Anubis had been spending months orchestrating this whole thing from the beginning.

And for what? To break her, to destroy Raiyden.  To shatter the hearts and bodies of their friends and the people who fought along side them. Was that really it? It couldn’t have been just that- nobody went through all that trouble to just destroy a couple of Luka Sene. Did they?  Caer couldn’t shake that feeling from the darker corners of her mind that things were not over. Not permanently anyways.

The events of that mission replayed in her mind over and over again to tease her, taunt her and point accusing fingers at how badly she had failed in keeping her team safe. It made faces at her from the shadows and teased her mercilessly about her short comings.

Neirov had nearly been killed by the whole event, the man still lay in a coma in a room not far from hers and there had been no sign of him awakening any time soon.  Her heart clenched every time she recalled the sickening wet crack and thud as Anubis had tossed Neirovs body around like a child’s toy, the green skin paling as he lay motionless on the floor of that fetid smelling place.  Even a few days later she woke up, startled out of her nightmares thinking she could hear that sound again. Goddess knew she’d not be able to crack an egg without wanting to throw up for a while.

That’s if she could ever make use of even doing the most menial of chores again. Going to the fresher and dressing herself had become an ordeal that while outwardly she met with a brave front and with a bit of humor, inwardly she cringed and hated herself for her own weakness.  She could still feel the sharp sting and blinding white pain as Anubis had severed her hand from just above the wrist, the blade she had been wielding clattering to the floor.

She’d won though. Her and Kheniath had won, the two pairing up to take down the man who had put them through literal hell for months.

Her hatred for Anubis spiked.

He had tortured her padawan Arten, injecting him with a virus, a poison or something that currently had no cure.

He had tormented Kheniath by forcing him to become a sleeper agent and then setting him off among their group to cause damage. Kheniath now suffered from seizures that seemed difficult to control.

He had tormented Xaishen by keeping him from the thing he loved, her brother. Baiting him into continuing to make those horrid drugs to keep him under control.

He had tormented her mind, projecting images and ideas into her mind to set her off balance and in the end had severed her hand from her body.

But they had survived every single thing he’d thrown at them. Her hatred melted away and flowed off like so much melted ice water into a vast ocean and her body visibly relaxed on the bed where she lay. Stretching her senses out before her she ‘saw’ Arten sleeping the sleep of the sick, Ayliah at his side resting with her head on the bed.  She saw Kheniath propped up on a chair and lightly snoring with a datapad dangling from his fingertips.  She sensed Dyme’s worry tugging at her heart like a puppy tugging on a stubborn blanket as she kept vigil over Neirovs bed. To her left, Tom meditated next to her always aware of her constant ebb and flow of energies, his meshing with hers in a way that only a couple so steeped in the force could do. To her right, she saw her brother Raiydens presence, still and at rest.  His own presence was meshed with hers on a much deeper intimate level, the kind of level only twins could have. He idly reached out for her hand and she reached back. Squeezing she conveyed her love and joy for his return.

This is my family. I found it all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah – still good. (Lilo & Stitch)

There was hope in the end…

Please don’t tell me any more
There’s a weight in your eyes
And it weighs on my heart
Where have the children gone
We were innocent once
But that was so long ago

The streets of Nar Shaddaa were eerily empty as if the inhabitants knew of the Miralukas mood and they had felt it necessary to leave the woman be, despite the fact she could be easy pickings for some of the more savvy people of the underbelly of Nar Shaddaas seedier side.

In a way Caer kind of hoped someone would start something. Some part of her wanted to fight. To lash out at something that she would not regret lashing out at.  Her frustration mounted the more she walked, the thoughts and conversations chasing each other around and around in her head until she wanted to scream, she wanted to claw at her hair and pound away the hatred she felt right now, the emotions of betrayal that hounded and nipped at her backside with tiny needle like teeth.

She’d never hated Nar Shaddaa so much in her life as she did right now. Raiyden had gone missing on Nar Shaddaa along side Xaishen but at this point she didn’t care about bringing Xaishen back so much anymore, she just wanted Raiyden. Caer had wondered fleetingly if Xaishen had set her brother up, the prickle of paranoia teasing her brain.

Have we lost our way back home
We have made mistakes I know
I know

Don’t tell me of better days
There’s a memory I have
Could be something I read
Of laughter and cheap guitars
In a house full of friends
Could’ve been one of ours
We stayed up late, we loved the stars
Can’t remember the rest
Just a few parts

She’d been turned on not once but twice in the night as it was and the hate she felt for that rose in her like bile. The shame at being taken for a fool not by Kheniath but by her own Padawan! Her hands curled into fists and the images of her pummeling  the two of them mercilessly did nothing to ease the mounting tension between her shoulders or the oncoming migraine that was developing somewhere just above her temples.

Her boot heels clicked on the ground, each step echoing in the silent streets. Only the occasional cough or mutterings of people could be heard, but she didn’t hear them. She kept her strides even, counting them as she went until she reached the hundreds and lost count. It didn’t matter though she just started over again in another language and continued on, sometimes wiping her nose with her sleeve not really giving a damn one way or another that she was wiping snot on a perfectly good outfit. She’d just wash it later, gods knew she felt grimy as it was.

The words still echoed inside her head and they just made her stomach churn to the point that she had to stop, hand pressed against a filthy wall to curb the nausea she felt. Her knees felt weak and her heart raced.

“M-master R-raiyden is d-d-dead!” The stuttering terrified voice of her Padawan rang shrilly in the halls of her mind and set anew another round of emotions that ran the gamut of rage and hatred to disbelief, pain and hurt.  His terrified face filling her force sight, the feeling of the cloth of his padawan robes gripped tightly in her hand. She felt each of these things, saw each of these things.

She’d walked away. That was always her answer for everything was to walk away. But she couldn’t this time, there was no chance of her walking away from this nightmare and she had to face this monster her life had become.  She knew she would have to face down what was coming and if it meant facing each and every step completely alone, she would. She’d turn her back on everything, everything if it meant saving her brother from the nightmare that he shared with her.

Have we lost our way back home
We have made mistakes I know
I know

I think they lost something that they miss
I wanna find that book
Dust it off and read it again
There was hope in the end

Caer clenched her fists and tilted her head back at the sudden rush of emotions that swelled up inside of her, the scream tearing through her throat like a wild animal that had been contained too long, far too long. Weeks of keeping it inside, hours of holding it in check. She screamed as long and as loud as she could, letting the primal sounding cry tear through the underbelly of the city she hated like a knife gutting a diseased animal.

The echoed and the silence deafened her. She could barely hear the sound of her own ragged breathing. Nothing stirred in the darkness of that little corner of Nar Shaddaa as if the denizens and animals alike were too wary of that scream to move without making sure that thing that had screamed so was not after them.

Shoulders slumping Caer swallowed it back down. She’d allowed herself the five seconds of emotion. She had allowed herself to give into the emotions and she’d quickly swallowed them down like so many bitter and jagged little pills that tore on the way down as much as the scream had torn her on the way up.  Straightening her shoulders she went to face the disaster this nightmare had become.

Have we lost our way back home
We have made mistakes I know
I know

We were braver still when we were young
And when we were young
We spoke in tongues

(Song: flyleaf – Have we Lost)

Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign.

<Personal thoughts of Caer Estherian>

Brother, I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s strange to be completely cut off from the one thing that’s kept me going all my life and what I find the most overwhelming is the idea that I might not every see you again. That limbo feeling of knowing you’re alive out there somewhere but never seeing you or hearing your voice again. I can barely sleep and when I do the dreams I have usually wake me in a cold sweat and trembling. Tom does what he can to distract me and soothe me, but it’s not the same. You were really the only person who could take my nightmares away and now I’m stuck in one where I can’t reach you.

Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign
Instead there is only silence can’t you hear my screams?
Never stop hoping, need to know where you are
But one thing is for sure you’re always in my heart

I’ll find you somewhere
I’ll keep on trying until my dying day
I just need to know whatever has happened
The truth will free my soul

I don’t feel like a leader anymore. I don’t even feel like much of a person these days, the feeling of being disconnected and unfeeling even in the most passionate of moments leaves me feeling empty. It’s hard enough trying to figure out how to get everyone through their day without thinking about how I’m going to get through mine;  and I know I can’t say a damn word to anyone about any of it. So many questions and I can’t ask any of them because they’re the same questions the others are asking me. Where do we go? Who do we talk to? What decisions do we make and are they the right ones?

I heard you tonight, brother and my hope soared so high. I wanted to babble to you everything. I wanted to feel that connection for a few seconds longer; I tried to tell you I loved you but I don’t think you heard me Raiyden, I think the link faded; it almost felt like a part of me had faded with you as well. Miraluka cannot cry, not like Humans but I tried. Ashla knows I tried and I have never felt so hollow and bitter in my entire life.  The lump in my throat refuses to leave me and it takes every ounce of effort to face the others every time I have to.

Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home
I want to embrace you and never let you go
Almost hope you’re in heaven so no one can hurt your soul
Living in agony ’cause I just do not know where you are

I’ll find you somewhere
I’ll keep on trying until my dying day
I just need to know whatever has happened
The truth will free my soul

You gave me hope and it’s all I have to hold onto right now, it’s what keeps me upright and facing the hours as they drag out into days and the days drag out into weeks.

I pray. I pray a lot. It helps me I think to know that there’s something out there that’s listening, knowing that I need Them.  I can’t talk to anyone else about how I feel or what I think, I think they would label me insane. Everything I want to say and do would just pour out of me like so much blood on a battlefield.  Arten would likely think his master had finally lost her mind and he’s not ready, gods above he’s not ready for any of this. He nearly came uncorked when I ripped a womans mind apart.  I had no choice, brother. I had no other recourse than to do it the dirty way and I regret every second of it.

Our stupid sister, Lyrae’a is even trying to help you, Raiyden. I have no idea what her angle is or why but she’s trying to help us. I haven’t spoken to her yet and I’m not sure I’m ready to. I just don’t have that kind of energy to face that kind of animosity. She’s on Neirovs and Dymes ship while we’re here on Alderaan.

You said Nar Shaddaa brother. I pray that whatever we find there will save you. I have never been good with foresight but I can tell you if this lasts any longer I may head down a darker path that I or anyone else is prepared to tread. I skirt so much already that I am sure that the others do not approve of some of the things I have done for the sake of my family. I don’t think I can stay my hand towards the one who took you and Xaishen, Brother. I’m not sure if I can make sure this ‘Anubis’ stays alive long enough for him to utter a word of defiance. It’s not the Jedi or the Luka Sene way and I know and you would not want to see me do that, but I know whatever he is, whoever he is, he will pay for what he’s doing to you.

Wherever you are, I won’t stop searching
Whatever it takes, I need to know

I’ll find you somewhere
I’ll keep on trying until my dying day
I just need to know whatever has happened
The truth will free my soul