The wind of Voss hit her body with a gentle nudge, the scents it carried were fresh, free of pollution. Any smells that would be associated with combat were kilometers away, and she was happy with that. Caer was happy to feel the breeze on her face, catch the smell of the grasses, the warm dirt and the smell of the wild flowers that grew. Her fingers idly reached out and brushed against the long stems of grasses that swayed around her like happy dancers, the breeze their choreographer and the birds that sang their musical accompaniment.
She couldn’t help but smile as the entire feel of the planet around her caressed her, and as she lay down in the grasses, hidden from all sight, she felt enveloped in a type of safety she hadn’t felt in what seemed like a very long time. No, things were not perfect, not by a long shot, but she at least for the time being felt okay.
The plague that ran through her was in check, thanks to Adria; it could possibly stand a chance for a cure. The hope was there and she was content to keep it close to her. To allow that hope to bloom within in her was enough to let her wake up every day and deal with what had to be done. Even if it meant dealing with needles every three days, those days hellish for her, the thought of having something injected into her, the thought of the sharp needle piercing her skin, it made her want to throw up thinking about it.
So she didn’t.
She thought about other things instead.
Caer thought about her brother Raiyden; thought about how hard he worked for her, for their cause and for the Republic. She loved him in the only way a twin could love their sibling who shared everything from the womb to even the simple things in life. Raiyden was her balance, the cool waters to temper her fiery zest of life. They were balance and each others equals. Without one or the other, they were weakened, half of the being that they could potentially be. Caer smiled as she thought of her brothers aura, the way he shone so bright and complete; even with the illness running through them, she could see that spark of life that he carried.
The wind shifted and the flock of birds that surrounded her in the trees took flight, their wings a thousand hearts beating at once, fluttering and chirping, they took to the skies, circled around and landed once more. Like the shift in the winds, her thoughts also shifted to something else.
The Mirialan confused her, made her feel things she wasn’t sure she wanted to feel while around him.
Ever since their time on Tython, he had worked with Caer and Raiyden. A perfect trio that even the Masters or Council could not deny made a good group dynamic. Caer was the one who forced their opponents to focus on her, to draw their fury, and let them try to destroy her- her innate ability of the Force helping her temper their blows, counter attack and harry the enemy while Raiyden, used his skills to keep her alive, the force flowing through him and into her, allowing Neirov to come in, destroy and disarm the enemies as they came. She was the shield, Neirov was the sword and Raiyden was the serenity and temperance to allow them to survive their ordeals.
Neirov was a enigma. She couldn’t recall just when the pivotal moment had come that had changed him. What tragedy? What problem? What moment had it been when he’d had slipped so far from her grasp. Even now, she could recall the conversation they’d had.
He had come onto her ship in the night, like the silent ghost that he had become in her life. A ghost she could touch fleetingly, share her words of support and comfort. He had delivered information she could use, without her asking to; no, he had given her this stuff freely- like a messenger he dutifully continued to support the cause of the Republic. He had been removed from the Order. The words had come as a blow to her, her heart aching because she knew what kind of blow that was to any Jedi. She couldn’t remember the conversation fully, but she remembered reaching out to touch his face, his skin warm, smooth and yielding to her touch. His arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug before he walked away, fading from her ‘sight’.
Caer had sat on the edge of the bed for a while, half wishing, half hoping, a lot of praying that he’d come back.
A cool breeze sent ripples of gooseflesh up her arms, the wind growing stronger for a moment, as if attuned to her mood and as if to say ‘calm yourself’ before it died down into a gentle whisper again. It urged her to change her thoughts, urged her to think of other things.
Amaare was someone who she had felt a keen interest in. She wasn’t sure if what she felt was right or even near to what most normal people felt. Her heart skipped when she saw Amaare, his aura was bright, cheerful and whenever he was around, she found herself feeling better. Her thoughts when on Nar Shaddaa were if he’d be there, if he’d be happy to see her.
They had met last night and Caer had asked him many questions, had become close to him and in the end he had kissed her. Had opened up to her. He had made her feel alive and sent little shivers of joy down her spine.
Caer couldn’t be certain what it was she felt. While many said she tended to over analyze things, she knew that she needed to think this through entirely. Was she in love? Was this just an infatuation with a guy who happened to pay more than the usual attention that most people did not? when he was near her, she felt good, he stirred some of those same feelings in her that Neirov had. She wanted to be close to him, wanted to feel his hand on her, feel the warmth of his touch.
She wasn’t sure what she felt, she just knew that her mind and body agreed that everything he did felt right. He was intellectually stimulating, their conversations could easily last hours. She loved how Amaare was so willing to make her smile but at the same time, so willing to also converse with he on a plethora of subjects.
He had surprised her by kissing her. She had been hesitant when she had kissed him… but when he’d returned that kiss and with a passionate feel she had been stunned.
It had felt right.
Caer smiled as she brought a hand lazily to her lips, her fingers brushing over the lower lip before resting it on her chest. Her thoughts became hazy, the warmth of the sun, the cool breeze and the song of birds lulling her to sleep.