A friend of mine suggested I keep a journal since I am constantly on the go and sometimes need to reflect upon what’s happened. I suppose there’s no harm in it. There’s nothing here I likely would not tell my brother or perhaps another Master. There are no secrets here, which I suppose kind of negates the whole point of a journal. Redundancy for the win, I suppose. My master always did say that I was a bit of an odd one.
I suppose that comes with being a twin. We tend to be odd sorts and just seem to attract odd sorts as well. My brother is Raiyden. We’re Miralukans and we come from the home world Alpheridies. We were taken by a Mon Calamari Jedi who supposedly saw great potential in us (in private, I confess, I think they say that to everyone. I’ve only heard it a dozen times in my life when other Masters pick up other younglings for the Order. “this one has great potential!” ) and swept us off to the Temple on Coruscant.
Raiyden and I were inseparable, our talents and abilities tend to work better together than separately (as twins tend to be)- they discovered that quickly and therefor stuck us together with a Nautolan Master named Raen. Master Raen was a wonderful master and taught us quite well. He was suited to us, not minding the extra burden of dealing with twins. There was nothing we could get past him and despite out childish antics he was always patient with us; he always seemed to understand that to get us to work well and understand the force and what it offered around us, that all he needed to do was let us sort it out by working together. It is with great sadness that he was lost to us in the sacking of Coruscant. We honor his memory by doing what is right for the Republic and following his teachings the best way we know how.
We have passed our trials now, and with that we travel with a Mirialan named Neirov. He’s another ‘odd’ one and we find ourselves at odds with him constantly. Raiyden and him bicker continuously when it comes to some of the decisions that Neirov has made in our stead or as part of our group. I find it disconcerting at times that Neirov seems to relish the idea of combat or making people pay for their mistakes. That’s not what we’re about. We’re not about punishing people for the sake of punishment. We’re there to negotiate and come up with alternatives that do not always need to resort to violence. Like him I am well capable of combat and we’ve all seen our fair share of it. We do what we need to when talking doesn’t always work out. WE cannot control what happens or the decisions other make, we can merely do our best to influence those decisions and hope that those around us make the correct ones.
Brother Raiyden has said he’s going to contact the Council or at least someone who can possibly offer advice on Neirovs behavior. He’s erratic and he seems to enjoy goading others into conflict. This is greatly concerning since most of the things we do, we need level heads and sound decision making. It’s difficult to do that when Neirov decides he wants to make the decisions for us.
I wish I could figure out why he’s so angry. No, angry isn’t the right word. Often times he speaks calmly, sounds reasonable but the words… the words. They are full of malice. No, again that’s not the right word.
I can’t put my finger on it, but he seems to harbor this energy in him that concerns me. He seems to want battle, craves it. He loves to dash ahead of us when we’re in enemy territory and cut down anything that gets in his way. Taris was a good example in which we had to hunt Rakghouls and he seemed to enjoy the thrill of the hunt. Raiyden and I had a hard time keeping up with him, but we could see him, even through the force enjoying every moment a conflict arose.
This is Dark side behavior. Behavior that concerns us both as we consider him a good friend. He has been there with us for a very long time. We fear he is hearing the call of the Dark side and we fear he’ll soon heed that call if we don’t intervene somehow.
My brother worries about all of us, I think he considers himself older (even though he’s only older than me by a full four minutes. Honestly, you should hear him sometime go on about his brotherly duties), and therefor more responsible for all of us. I honestly have no idea how old Neirov is, I never asked. He never seemed to like personal questions and we hardly have any down time to just merely sit and chat idly.
I just pray to the gods that whatever planet we end up on next will net us some down time and ability to speak and recuperate. My brother badly needs it and I know I could use the rest as well. Neirov I think would benefit from some time away from the copious amounts of violence that we deal with on Taris.
Such is our life I suppose. The Force takes us where it needs us and we have to heed that call. It’s almost normal to live in a galaxy where war is the commodity of choice and peace is almost like a dream.
Speaking of dreams, my pillow is beckoning me to rest. My limbs still ache from all the saber play we had to perform today just to make it back from the encampment that was decimated. The Rakghouls are relentless.